THEN AND NOW--

It used to be I would hop in the shower, slop some shampoo through the hair, scrub with a bar of soap, rinse, dress and go down the road.

Now...

...I mix a concoction of distilled water, non-iodized salt, baking soda and corn syrup then do a vigorous nasal spray to clear congestion so I can continue one of my favorite activities—breathing,

...then, I hop in the shower and shampoo with an expensive moisturizing product instead of my old favorite VO5 which, by the way, costs only a buck a bottle,

...then, I spread a moisturizing body wash on a sponge and scrub—gently,

...then, after drying—gently, I lather with a prescribed, compounded moisturizing cream,

...then, retrieve my dentures from the soaker,

...then, clean and install the hearing aids,

...then, clean and install the glasses,

...then, with clear vision restored, I glance in the mirror and wonder who that old guy is who is peering back at me,

...then, dress and go down the road.

Gently.

Jeeze.