COMMENTERRY—

Panic in Boston

In yesterday’s headlines, this: “Terror Scare Brings Boston to Standstill”. I can picture hizzhonor the mayor screaming from under his desk, “Call out the national guard...I want the municipal hockey rink defended by tanks. RIGHT NOW!”

Meanwhile, the freeways screech to a standstill while the local constabulary whizzes to and fro in a panicked search for the electronic culprits reported to be invading their town. Bomb squads were deployed with more than 500 thousand bucks worth of public protection hurled at the onslaught.

Turns out the “invasion” was 38 quirky, battery powered signs promoting a cartoon show on some children’s TV network.

Also turns out similar “invasions” had occurred in 10 other major US cities over the past several weeks with nary a public utterance.

As the Boston panic slowly subsided, the local persecutor up there was heard muttering, “We’ll pull out all stops to punish this reckless, irresponsible and illegal behavior.”

Attaway Beantown. You tell ‘em!

Meanwhile, adult municipal officials elsewhere were seen chuckling discretely at the reactionary silliness of their eastern contemporaries.